Missions of Service MKP I-Groups--Working with Troubled Young Men Listening, caring, and being there Two New Jersey I-Groups, together known as the Chatham Mission Group, received the 2001 Ron Hering Award for their mission work with troubled young men at the Kilbarchan residence in Paterson, New Jersey. That facility is run by YCS (Youth Consultation Service) and is the oldest continuously operated residence for needy children in the country, established in 1831. Kilbarchan helps children learn appropriate behaviors by providing a structured, positive atmosphere. Greg Zimmer, who currently coordinates the Mission Group involvement, says the results have been exciting for both the boys and the MKP men. "We are currently beginning our fourth year with the boys, and each year proves more rewarding than the next. Kilbarchan houses young men ages 13 to 18, who have either been abandoned, abused, traumatized, or in other ways let down by their families and/or society. Many have trust issues, especially toward adults. However, anyone who spends time with them would probably tell you that in many ways, they're just young men trying to grow up in a really tough situation. Their resiliency is absolutely amazing," said Zimmer. The Group's involvement with the boys has grown into two different types of activities. One kind of meeting starts with a check-in: names, how they're feeling, and brief comments about how things are going. Then there is often some sharing, and possibly breaking into small groups in which the boys and men might discuss topics such as dreams, aspirations, anger, and trust. Other meetings center on a project such as cooking, a recording session, job search skills, carpentry, or some form of the arts. "The boys and men together built two world-class picnic tables," said Zimmer. Three men participated. "In four hours, under the expert guidance of Tom Crewe, a master carpenter, we turned $200 worth of wood into $600 worth of picnic tables. While only nine kids originally signed up to participate, by the time we were done almost all the boys in the home had chipped in. Their pride in what they accomplished was incredible. Maybe one or two of them decided that day that they might become a carpenter." Roy Coutinho twice brought in his professional recording gear and a drum machine for the boys to make recordings of their rap music, poetry, or anything they wanted. Each boy that participated has had his recording made into a CD that he could keep and share with friends. Other activities have included writing poetry, learning to play pool, and mastering the yo-yo. Zimmer points out that the home already provides highly qualified therapists and counselors to help the boys, enabling the I-Group members to take another role. "We sometimes look at ourselves as the boys' 'uncles' or 'big brothers.' The boys are seeing men they can look up to and hopefully admire, and they are beginning to experience the openness and caring that MKP men often possess." Zimmer is concerned about creating unrealistic expectations in the young men or in the Mission Group. "It is very easy to fall into a sense of false security when we see the progress some of these young men are making. They have been too damaged for far too long to reasonably expect major and permanent changes in a short time frame." "We brought the gift of listening, caring and simply being there, predictably and dependably," said Zimmer. "We're basically just doing what we said we'd do. These kids have been abandoned over and over again, so when you show them you will be there consistently and dependably, and that you care about what happens to them and you simply listen to them. that has a major impact. We love to see the happiness in the boy's faces when we are with them and to know that we may be making a positive difference in their lives." You can reach Greg Zimmer at zimmerind@aol.com; he would welcome hearing from you. The web site at www.ycs.org offers information on YCS, the organization that runs Kilbarchan. Home     The ManKind Project     Our Values     The Training New Warriors     Our Centers     Calendar of Trainings     Register Now Testimonials     Articles     Missions of Service For the Media     Contact Us Privacy Policy   Web Site Information: Bert Dinkins   Customer Service 800.870.4611 ©1994-2008 The ManKind Project® all rights reserved.